Thursday, July 31, 2008

Exactly What Are Her Priorities?

It takes a looooong time to string a 36" strand of opera length Akoya pearls.

I ought to know. I, along with the Retrievers and Creepy, had to wait an unacceptable amount of time just to get our breakfast!

Some "rush" job for a local jewelry store took precedence over our stomachs.

I tried to feed myself, but was too short to reach the treat jar. Not to mention (again) the apparent lack of opposable thumbs.

Even Max was squawking and banging a tiny tin cup against the bars of his cage!

That's the thing about Humans...always caught up with trivial and material things, such as crap from an oyster! Geesh! We dogs would not be caught dead with such useless adornment (unless you are unfortunate enough to belong to Paris or Britney)!

A good roll in some carrion or poop is all any respectable dog needs!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Other Orts

So it seems Stupid Mollie is surviving her razor situation. Things are starting to "appear". Must be the bran.

Reilly and Mocha stink and need a bath. My Mistress is hoping the Tim will do this task over the weekend, since she has taken on the job of painting shutters. She is painting them because the Tim has issues with ladders. I should not mention the time he got stuck on the garage roof but, I will.

Uncle Morgan gave the Mistress an idea to keep Creepy's crate door open and it works very well. Now when she is blindly bumping into things, she can't bang her door shut. Poor Creepy. Her days are numbered...after all, she's about 125 in human years!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

"Molly" by Zoe

Whatcha Gonna Do Now, Thunder?

Molly has got to be the dumbest dog in the to Reilly (the only Retriever in the world who cannot catch). This morning she ate a razor or at least part of a razor...the part with the blades in it!

Now she is spending her time being prudently watched and fed bran in hopes that she passes the razor with no damage to her insides.

She was xrayed at Shoal Creek Animal Clinic (where Beth Anne works) and suspicious shapes and shadows not normally seen in a dog's digestive track were found. I sincerely hope (and as hateful as I am, I do mean this) she does not have to have emergency surgery.

The Doctors should have xrayed her brain.

They most likely would have discovered it to be the size of pea and her IQ to be on the level of an ordinary earthworm!

Poor dumb Molly!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Birthday Dessert

Birthdays around here are rarely celebrated with traditional birthday cakes. The Tim and Beth Anne both are partial to cheesecakes and/or Tiramisu. And sometimes they get both! Us dogs get homemade dog treats with cheese and tuna for our birthdays. Yum! The Tim doesn't like the smell of those, but then he doesn't appreciate other odors that I find quite appealing.

Thursday was The Tim's birthday and since he and The Mistress were going out to celebrate with other humans (people they refer to as their Wine-Dinner Club), The Mistress delayed making the desserts until today so they could be enjoyed at this evening's cookout. A cookout at Pam and Austin's, which I might add, I do not get to attend. They have two lard-assed Golden Retrievers and do not invite other dogs. (If they didn't have dogs, I don't think Austin would invite me because of that over blown biting incident a couple of years ago.)

The first dessert she made, a favorite here, is a Key Lime Cheesecake with Strawberry Sauce. The Tim was not around to see, so I got to lick the spatula! Then she fixed the Tiramisu, which in Italian means "pick me up" or loosely translated as "make me less sad/happier". Yeah, I'll say it makes him happy. I will never get a bite because The Tim will hunker down over his plate, moaning and groaning in a disgusting display of gluttony sucking up every last bit like a turbo-powered Hoover!

And they call me the beast!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Happy Birthday to Tim!

Happy Birthday Tim!

With Love, Hugs, Kisses, & Licks from

Beth, Beth Anne, and the zoo:

Mocha, Reilly, Zoe, Sugar, Molly, and all the Birds!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


Uga V's Whatchagot Loran, better known to the world as Uga VI, was laid to rest today at 3 p.m. in Sanford Stadium.

Like his five predecessors, all pure white bulldogs, Uga VI will be interred in the specially-built marble vault built just inside the South main gate of the stadium. UGA is the only school that buries its mascots within the confines of their stadium.

The identity of the dog that shall become Uga VII remains a closely guarded secret.

They should consider a female, German Pinscher for the next mascot. Like me!