Happy New Year from my mistress, The Tim, and Beth Anne!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The "fleabag" got sick one day, then the next day, Reilly tried to take out one of the birds. Yea for Reilly.....he really does have a brain! Both survived, much to my chagrin. (It would have been a different story had I been there.) And of course, what's a holiday without a tour of the emergency room?
Supposedly in the spirit of Christmas (I call it "in the spirit of making people look stupid") The Mistress has produced this little number:
Thank Lassie she didn't put me in there!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
While I think it was commendable for Beth Anne to rescue the wretched mongrel off the streets of Athens and take her to the vet (which I heard she is full of nasty things....worms and such), I see no good reason to bring her here? Has she lost her mind?
She is her mother's daughter after all....always rescuing animals. The four-legged, as well as the two-legged variety. The Tim (two-legged) has been busy making predictions as to the possible outcome of this visit.
I was to go to the kennel on Wednesday anyway, because John and Keith are staying here for the huge Thanksgiving Gut Slam. The Mistress thought my not being here would eliminate some stress, but what about my stress? Who wants to spend Thanksgiving (whatever that is) in the kennel and go a day earlier than planned?
Sure, Angela is nice enough and I like her. I even get to take my crate with my smelly old Tim blanket but it's not the same as being at home........Maybe the Mistress will feel guilty enough to make me a "stash bag" of turkey (like Uncle Austin, who has tasty fingers) to enjoy when I come home on Saturday!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Tim is convinced The Mistress will end up with this animal, as she has with all the rest. Not to worry! I'll take care of it. I am the boss dog of the house and I'm laying down the law now.
There will be no more dogs in this house.
One more thing...I heard them talking about trading MY crate for this other dog's crate because it is too big! Too bad! I don't want some other dog's stinking crate. I have mine just the way I want it, with a chewed up cushion and the Tim's fleece blanket. "Molly" has already stunk up my condo in Athens. (Proof: see picture confiscated off Facebook) How can I return there now? It smells of Beagle! I am not happy about this at all. The Chinese herbs are not working!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I went to the kennel again (this is getting very annoying), while The Tim and my Mistress went to Washington D.C. I have not been to D.C. since being banished from John and Keith's house for peeing on the floor. They have no sense of humor.
My mistress said that The Tim ran a marathon, which is a long, long distance. I bet I can run faster and further, if I had opposable thumbs and could open the gate.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Look at Mocha. What a dummy! Does she not know she has a tasty treat riding around on her back?
I wish they would have let me in the house.
I had to watch this atrocity through the window, while free food roamed the house and rode on the back of the biggest dummy (besides the Tim) in the pack.
Monday, October 1, 2007
There were some overly ripe bananas and usually we get to eat them, but she decided to make Tim banana bread. She said it was her best ever.
This is what was left of it..........I'm not saying who took it off the counter. I'm not even going to say if it was good or not. She thinks it was Reilly.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
It had something to do with renting a room in the condo to Beth Anne's friend and me biting her.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I know they're in there!
Just gotta find a way in or hope one of the stupid humans leaves the door open.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
1) Dog poo (especially Mocha's) makes for a good snack.
2) I can jump six feet straight up in the air about a thousand times a day.
10) I find muzzles to be both degrading and embarrassing.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
And until a few days ago, I was handling it fairly well. But then the Will guy un-expectantly brought his rats over to my house. The humans kept calling them “chinchilla’s” but I’m no fool. They’re rats I tell ya!
Well at first I thought, “This is great! I’ll chase the filthy rodents around a bit, toss ‘em up in the air a few times and then following the laws of nature, create a scene reminiscent of something the male human (Tim I think they call him) refers to as Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”
But N O O O O O O !
As it turns out, they weren’t there for my amusement at all. It seems we were “rat sitting.” Can you believe it? As I said before – dumb humans.
Anyway, they put them downstairs in the basement and would not open the darn door. Even though they know all too well that I am neither tall enough to reach the knob nor do I have thumbs, opposable or otherwise.
As you might imagine, the vermin stench wafting up the stairwell, taunted me to no end. It was unbearable. At night, I’d lie in my crate and dream of creeping down the steps, sneaking over to the cage and then without warning, start barking like crazy scaring, the decon right out of ‘em!
Then in my dream, I would knock against the table, sending the cage tumbling to the floor. In the ensuing crash, the cage door would pop open and it would suddenly be “rat-o-mania!” But alas, it was only a dream and each morning I would awaken to find the downstairs door firmly closed.
Then, just as suddenly as they arrived, they were gone.
Such cruel treatment is uncalled for and is on par with other despicable human behaviors such as the “fake throw,” the “pretend treat” and the “let’s go for a nice ride in the car – to the vet’s office!”
Is it any wonder I sometimes bite?
Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight and they’ll bring a stranger home. Then I can play the old “I was only defending you,” routine after taking a well deserved chunk out of their calf.
Dumb humans. They’ll believe anything.