Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Up For Adoption

One Fleabag! I mean, one Jack-A-Bee.
Approximately 12 weeks old.
Crate and worms included at no extra charge!
Just get it old of my condo!
Interested parties should contact me via this site ASAP!

Happy Thanksgiving?

Rumor has it that I am going to the kennel this afternoon! That Fleabag (see picture) is coming to my house with Beth Anne today, along with the stupid bird! They think I won't get along with the fleabag (which I won't).

While I think it was commendable for Beth Anne to rescue the wretched mongrel off the streets of Athens and take her to the vet (which I heard she is full of nasty things....worms and such), I see no good reason to bring her here? Has she lost her mind?

She is her mother's daughter after all....always rescuing animals. The four-legged, as well as the two-legged variety. The Tim (two-legged) has been busy making predictions as to the possible outcome of this visit.

I was to go to the kennel on Wednesday anyway, because John and Keith are staying here for the huge Thanksgiving Gut Slam. The Mistress thought my not being here would eliminate some stress, but what about my stress? Who wants to spend Thanksgiving (whatever that is) in the kennel and go a day earlier than planned?

The Mistress calls it "camp" and the Tim calls it "jail".

Sure, Angela is nice enough and I like her. I even get to take my crate with my smelly old Tim blanket but it's not the same as being at home........Maybe the Mistress will feel guilty enough to make me a "stash bag" of turkey (like Uncle Austin, who has tasty fingers) to enjoy when I come home on Saturday!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

No, No, Not Another One!

I overheard my Mistress talking with Beth Anne about a Beagle of all things! It appears she found this puppy that had been dumped by some cruel and irresponsible humans. Stupid humans.

Beth Anne is calling this dog "Molly" and thinks she is keeping her! What is she thinking!? I'm her dog!

The Tim is convinced The Mistress will end up with this animal, as she has with all the rest. Not to worry! I'll take care of it. I am the boss dog of the house and I'm laying down the law now.

There will be no more dogs in this house.

One more thing...I heard them talking about trading MY crate for this other dog's crate because it is too big! Too bad! I don't want some other dog's stinking crate. I have mine just the way I want it, with a chewed up cushion and the Tim's fleece blanket. "Molly" has already stunk up my condo in Athens. (Proof: see picture confiscated off Facebook) How can I return there now? It smells of Beagle! I am not happy about this at all. The Chinese herbs are not working!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Backgammon Blues

The Mistress kicked The Tim's butt three nights ago in a formidable display of strategy and skill only to succumb to his shameful tactics of taking advantage of her lower back pain and lack of concentration the last two nights.

Although, he claims that his wins are a result of "skillful dice rolling", we know that I'd be rolling in that BS if I could (I like rolling in smelly stuff).

Don't let the picture fool you. I am not a Turn Coat. I am my Mistress' dog. As I stated before, she was suffering from lower back pain and her lap was not an option. I had to resort to the next best thing. It also boosts his self-esteem.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Random Monday

The Mistress is lamenting the fact that it is once again Monday. I am seen here assisting her with bill paying, balancing the checkbooks, making the household budget, and other stuff she doesn't enjoy much.

Yesterday was the only day that she and The Tim have been able to spend together since returning from their trip to D.C.

Although, they enjoyed their time going to church (I got to stay in the crate), having a rare dinner together (no leftovers for me), and playing backgammon (while we dogs just layed about), the day passed too quickly.

Tim also worked in the yard and fiddled with all the clocks in the house. That may explain why we dogs have been signaling The Mistress at 4 p.m. that it is time to eat.