Sunday, April 13, 2008


What topics does one discuss with an internationally famous opera singer and her conductor husband? Better yet...what does one feed them? Especially when they are used to travelling the world and dining in some of the best restaurants in existence?

These are the questions my Mistress fretted about on Saturday as she prepared appetizers for the evening's casual get together with new acquaintances.

Our kitchen resembled the set of Hell's Kitchen and my Mistress morphed into something akin to a female version of Gordon Ramsey. So much so, we dogs kept our distance and rumor had it, the Tim was quite apprehensive about returning home from work.

Pots, pans, sharp instruments and a variety of ingredients were strewn about on every counter as she flew helter skelter about the kitchen, all the while condemning the entire Kroger Corporation for their suspect quality and lack of adequate variety. It was such a frightening sight, I found myself wanting to go outside!

Eventually, much to everyone's relief (canine and human alike), my Mistress went upstairs to get herself ready. As time slipped away, the Tim paced about the kitchen continually glancing at the clock but daring not to utter a word about the importance of promptness until finally she returned bearing a dissatisfied scowl. It seems her hair wasn't cooperating. (Not a problem I ever have to contend with.)

But finally after much ado, they left the house with two platters of hors d'oeuvres in hand. Which I might add, I did not get to sample.

Late into the night they returned home and it was obvious all had gone well. They had a wonderful time with a modest, unassuming couple, who certainly do not live an unassuming existence. I'm quite sure their discussions covered a variety of topics, the most of which likely were about me. After all, what could be more interesting?

The Mistress was also quite happy she didn't trip and fall over one of the two lard-assed Golden Retrievers that lay about Pam and Austin's kitchen floor. They have a knack for placing themselves directly behind an unsuspecting individual and judging from the Tim's distinct lack of equilibrium, it wouldn't have taken much to send him flying.

The following morning myself and the other canines formed our own opinions regarding the aforementioned Kroger Corporation when we were rewarded with leftover smoked salmon and prosciutto.

And unlike my Mistress, I found them to be more than adequate.

1 comment:

Beth Anne said...

man, zoe. you're extensive vocabulary is outstanding.

you forgot to mention how your mistress & the tim had more fun than they anticipated!