The Life and Times of Zoe

Happy Birthday, Tim!

2009-07-03T09:15:00.007-04:00

We may not get a lot of blogging done around here with all the other things going on...ie: like the Tim and my Mistress leaving most every day for that place called work, or them tearing up the house and changing things like floors and walls and stuff (I don't like change!), but we still recognize birthdays! So, with that said,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIM!

I think I'll have a treat in your honor!

Love, Zoe

April 15th

2009-04-15T12:21:00.004-04:00

The Mistress is in a huff because it's tax day. As usual she is scrambling to file....if not their taxes, then at least an extention.

I'm not sure what either of those things are, but from the mood around here I think I'd rather be at camp!

What's Up Doc?

2009-04-12T12:25:00.002-04:00

Speed Demon

2009-04-01T09:53:00.004-04:00

The Mistress dumped me off at camp and drove to GA the last weekend in March. She and Beth Anne went to Atlanta for the ING Georgia Marathon and Half Marathon, which was to be Beth Anne's first participation in a half marathon. And run she did! She finished in 1:41:34! 7:44 minutes per mile!

Overall place: 528/9712 Gender place: 102/5504 Div. place: 41/1712

She still doesn't run as fast as me! Speaking of which, Reilly and I decided to tool around the neighborhood a bit one afternoon while the Mistress was out attending to errands. It was one of the first warm sunny afternoon, so she left us in the yard. As luck would have it, the back gate was not latched properly and we took the opportunity to check out the creek which led us through numerous back yards.

We finally ended up on a very busy road with a lot of cars. It was farther away from home than we had ever been before without our Mistress! Reilly is not too bright and one of the cars barely missed him! A lady stopped the car and got out in order to retrieve that dumb retriever from the middle of the road and another lady who lived nearby took him and put him in her fenced yard until she could find the Mistress.

The two ladies tried to catch me but, I don't like humans (except the ones I live with) and I ran too fast for them. There was even a very bad man in a truck trying to catch me. I was told later that he was an Animal Control Officer (whatever that is). He couldn't catch me either. I ran as fast as I could back home. One of our neighbors convinced me it was not a good idea to terrorize the children on the street and got me back into my own yard, making sure the back gate was secured.

I thought I'd never see dumb Reilly again and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing! More treats for me, I thought....but I would miss him too. I guess St. Francis was looking after us because the lady holding Reilly brought him home and the same neighbor put him in the yard with me. I was actually very happy he made it home!

An hour later, the Mistress, unsuspecting of anything amiss, arrived home. As she was pulling into the garage, the neighbor stopped her and ratted us out! Ten minutes later, she was at the bottom of the yard drilling screws into the back gate so it could not be opened! Thus, our future adventures are thwarted indefinitely!

Oh well....like they say, "There's no place like home!"

Morgan's Home!

2009-03-26T12:26:00.000-04:00

I'm happy!

Slainte Mhaith

2009-03-17T17:21:00.002-04:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Too much cider at the pub!

Catching Up

2009-01-31T15:42:00.010-05:00

I've been remiss in my blogging. Over a month has passed and I have been completely and utterly uninspired to blog.

Not that there was anything interesting going on to blog about, unless you count being shipped to camp for a week at Christmas so that stupid Molly could take your place! However, I did get some pretty good treats in the Tim's stocking. Something akin to chicken jerky. Totally delish!

If you want your dog to love you like none other - then buy these! It's crack for dogs!

On another note: If you want your Mistress' attention, then don't get her one of these!

This is a total nightmare! The Tim bought one of these for The Mistress and I have to act like a maniac just to get a cookie! Of course, she is not the only guilty one!

January saw the Tim and The Mistress driving to Georgia to celebrate Beth Anne's 21st birthday. Yes, she survived but rumor has it she suffered somewhat the next day and her boots needed reconditioning.That's Jessica on the left...she's the other daughter and Beth Anne's best friend. I've bitten her too.

The cake which I got none of.

Last but not least, Reilly turned 7 as the New Year rang in. Happy Birthday Stupid.

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-08T16:11:00.001-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

6 Things

2008-12-08T15:10:00.003-05:00

I'm supposed to do this silly tag thing the Tim sent me. Here it is. Six things I detest...I mean like:

1) The Mistress- She loves me the most. Actually, she is the only one who really loves me. She is that way.

2) Beth Anne- She almost loves me as much as the Mistress. Although, she loves that stupid Molly more.

4) Food- Dinner, breakfast, dog food, people food, bird food. It's all good.

3) Treats- Love me some treats!!! Woo Hoo! Any kind will do.

5) A warm blankie- I really like blankies and pillows. I have thin fur, unlike the Retrievers, who shed multiple lbs. of hair everyday.

6) Riding- I enjoy the car, especially when I get to scare the crap out of unsuspecting drive thru bank tellers.

7) The Tim- I'll add that in for good measure and brownie points. He might give me a Cheez-it.

I am now suppose to tag other bloggers, but I'm a dog and don't know any other bloggers. Even if I did, I wouldn't like them.

Lucky Dog

2008-12-05T20:04:00.002-05:00

Damn! I always wanted to catch one of these!

Beth Anne sent this picture to my Mistress. The lucky dog's name is Jake and he lives in Georgia.

The retrievers living in my house could never do this! Mocha only wants to lay about on a fluffy dog bed in the Mistress' bedroom all day and could care less about squirrels. Reilly, on the other hand, has the desire, but is too stupid. The squirrels get away before he has a chance to get close enough with all the obnoxiously loud barking he does as he charges down the hill.

I am fast enough, but my problem is Reilly. He is generally outside with me, therefore, his barking makes it difficult to sneak up on a squirrel.

Que sera.

This and That

2008-11-15T13:25:00.012-05:00

I've had virtually no computer time of late as many events have happened around here and time has escaped me.

In October, the humans made a complete fool of my buddy Reilly by dressing him in a ridiculous costume and parading him through the downtown streets. If this wasn't enough, they allowed evidence of this mockery to be recorded in the local newspaper. To their credit however, they did so in order to raise funds for the Roanoke Valley SPCA.

I'm just glad it wasn't me. For if it had been, someone would have surely been bitten!

The latter part of month saw the Mistress dumping me off at camp and yet again driving to Georgia, where she remained for several days. Returning in time to vote, she and the Tim seemed genuinely pleased with the results of the election. I on the other hand saw some redeeming qualities in the other party's candidates ... primarily Moose Chili. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Of late, the internet connection and home networking system has made the Mistress very cranky. The humans switched their ISP and havoc has reigned ever since. The Tim refuses to get involved in the seemingly futile pursuit of a resolution, which only leaves the Mistress to deal with the NOT-so-helpful-out-sourced "tech support" personnel. On those rare occasions when she is actually able to speak to a live person, she ends up hanging up the phone and muttering something unprintable about aliens.

Since the Tim has been all but invisible lately due to his job taking on the characteristics of a Soviet Gulag, his frustration level with this current electronic malady has been minimal. This is largely due to the fact he still has access to the internet on the Mistress' computer when he makes an occassional appearance at home.

Thanksgiving is around the corner and no doubt I am sure to be carted away to my home away from home. All the while that dumb Molly will be stinking up my place. Hopefully, the Mistress will save me some turkey and maybe Beth Anne will visit me at camp ... or not.

And speaking of birds, soon after Sugar passed away, one of the birds croaked! Not that I care. The Tim, Reilly, and I hate 'em!
Pets are dropping like flies around this place. Creepy!

As I said before, c'est la vie.

Better Future, Better World

2008-11-05T15:08:00.003-05:00

The Mistress of the house is walking on air.

Wear Pink

2008-10-02T05:50:00.007-04:00

G.G. had surgery yesterday. She is doing well.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Godspeed, Morgan

2008-09-04T13:01:00.001-04:00

Uncle Morgan has left for Iraq via Kuwait.
We all will miss him.

Uga VII !

2008-08-31T15:37:00.007-04:00

The almost 3 year old "Loran's Best" made his debut at the opening game of the season on Saturday. Looks like a "Damn Good Dog"!

Sugar Over The Years

2008-08-16T17:21:00.000-04:00

Sugar Is Gone...

2008-08-13T15:30:00.002-04:00

They took her away...

she did not come back...

they were sad...

somehow I knew...

she had returned to her youth...

her eyesight restored...

now chasing squirrels and birds...

maybe an occasional jogger...

forever a mischievous little dog...

knocking over trashcans...

stealing food...

or another little girl's favorite stuffed animal...

Sugar is gone...

never to return.

Exactly What Are Her Priorities?

2008-07-31T10:41:00.010-04:00

It takes a looooong time to string a 36" strand of opera length Akoya pearls.

I ought to know. I, along with the Retrievers and Creepy, had to wait an unacceptable amount of time just to get our breakfast!

Some "rush" job for a local jewelry store took precedence over our stomachs.

I tried to feed myself, but was too short to reach the treat jar. Not to mention (again) the apparent lack of opposable thumbs.

Even Max was squawking and banging a tiny tin cup against the bars of his cage!

That's the thing about Humans...always caught up with trivial and material things, such as crap from an oyster! Geesh! We dogs would not be caught dead with such useless adornment (unless you are unfortunate enough to belong to Paris or Britney)!

A good roll in some carrion or poop is all any respectable dog needs!

Run Zoe Run

2008-07-18T21:47:00.001-04:00

Other Orts

2008-07-15T16:33:00.006-04:00

So it seems Stupid Mollie is surviving her razor situation. Things are starting to "appear". Must be the bran.

Reilly and Mocha stink and need a bath. My Mistress is hoping the Tim will do this task over the weekend, since she has taken on the job of painting shutters. She is painting them because the Tim has issues with ladders. I should not mention the time he got stuck on the garage roof but, I will.

Uncle Morgan gave the Mistress an idea to keep Creepy's crate door open and it works very well. Now when she is blindly bumping into things, she can't bang her door shut. Poor Creepy. Her days are numbered...after all, she's about 125 in human years!

"Molly" by Zoe

2008-07-12T18:05:00.002-04:00

Whatcha Gonna Do Now, Thunder?

2008-07-12T17:18:00.006-04:00

Molly has got to be the dumbest dog in the world...next to Reilly (the only Retriever in the world who cannot catch). This morning she ate a razor or at least part of a razor...the part with the blades in it!

Now she is spending her time being prudently watched and fed bran in hopes that she passes the razor with no damage to her insides.

She was xrayed at Shoal Creek Animal Clinic (where Beth Anne works) and suspicious shapes and shadows not normally seen in a dog's digestive track were found. I sincerely hope (and as hateful as I am, I do mean this) she does not have to have emergency surgery.

The Doctors should have xrayed her brain.

They most likely would have discovered it to be the size of pea and her IQ to be on the level of an ordinary earthworm!

Poor dumb Molly!

Birthday Dessert

2008-07-05T09:32:00.012-04:00

Birthdays around here are rarely celebrated with traditional birthday cakes. The Tim and Beth Anne both are partial to cheesecakes and/or Tiramisu. And sometimes they get both! Us dogs get homemade dog treats with cheese and tuna for our birthdays. Yum! The Tim doesn't like the smell of those, but then he doesn't appreciate other odors that I find quite appealing.

Thursday was The Tim's birthday and since he and The Mistress were going out to celebrate with other humans (people they refer to as their Wine-Dinner Club), The Mistress delayed making the desserts until today so they could be enjoyed at this evening's cookout. A cookout at Pam and Austin's, which I might add, I do not get to attend. They have two lard-assed Golden Retrievers and do not invite other dogs. (If they didn't have dogs, I don't think Austin would invite me because of that over blown biting incident a couple of years ago.)

The first dessert she made, a favorite here, is a Key Lime Cheesecake with Strawberry Sauce. The Tim was not around to see, so I got to lick the spatula! Then she fixed the Tiramisu, which in Italian means "pick me up" or loosely translated as "make me less sad/happier". Yeah, I'll say it makes him happy. I will never get a bite because The Tim will hunker down over his plate, moaning and groaning in a disgusting display of gluttony sucking up every last bit like a turbo-powered Hoover!

And they call me the beast!

Happy Birthday to Tim!

2008-07-03T05:00:00.005-04:00

Happy Birthday Tim!

With Love, Hugs, Kisses, & Licks from

Beth, Beth Anne, and the zoo:

Mocha, Reilly, Zoe, Sugar, Molly, and all the Birds!

RIP Uga

2008-07-01T20:23:00.011-04:00

Uga V's Whatchagot Loran, better known to the world as Uga VI, was laid to rest today at 3 p.m. in Sanford Stadium.

Like his five predecessors, all pure white bulldogs, Uga VI will be interred in the specially-built marble vault built just inside the South main gate of the stadium. UGA is the only school that buries its mascots within the confines of their stadium.

The identity of the dog that shall become Uga VII remains a closely guarded secret.

They should consider a female, German Pinscher for the next mascot. Like me!

In Memory of a Damn Good Dog

2008-06-28T18:51:00.007-04:00

Uga VI, who has served as the University of Georgia mascot since 1999, died Friday night from heart failure.

Our condolences to the Seiler family and the entire Bulldog Nation.

Life Is Good

2008-06-18T16:40:00.005-04:00

Anniversaries are some human thing I don't understand. What I do understand is the "doggy bag" from The Library has some yummy leftovers in it for me .... and (if I have to share) those other mutts living here as well. They brought home a bottle of bubbly stuff too, but it's not to be consumed by canines.

Another Tag

2008-06-11T13:43:00.004-04:00

I've been tagged - not the little metal thingie I'm forced to wear on my collar to satisfy Big Brother's need to dominate - (just let me get close to his leg - I'll show him how to dominate!)

No - The Tim (one of my humans) insists I play his silly game so here goes:

Here are the stupid rules - everytime I turn around, there's some new rule I have to abide by; Don't pee on the carpet; Don't bite humans who visit the house; Don't eat a plant if its in one of those pot thingies - Geesh, give me a break!

Copy the rules (or your version of them) and the set of questions onto your blog post, provide your own answers and then tag 5 new people - or in my case 3 dogs. If tagged, you’ll find your name at the end of this post. To be sure everyone tagged knows they’ve been invited to play, go to their blogs and leave them a comment notifying and referring them to your blog for details. Lastly, according to my tagger The Tim, once the chosen have answered the questions on their own blog, they should come back to yours to tell you.

Here are my responses.

1. How would you describe your running 10 years ago?

In dog years or human years? If we're referring to human years, I'm only 3. In dog years 21 to 31 depending on which dog whisperer you subscribe to. Regardless of which age calculation you choose, the answer is the same: I've been running one way my entire life - FAST!

Mostly I chase Reilly through the yard and when I catch him, I bite him! That's right, I clamp down on those big floppy Golden Retriever ears and don't let go until he says Arf (thats Uncle to you humans).

He is 6 years old (human years) and this keeps him in shape so he doesn't turn into a lard butt Retriever.

2. What is your best and worst run / race experience?

Best: Getting out of the fenced in yard.

Worst: Getting caught.

3. Why do you run?

As mentioned above, to bite Reilly ... er ... I mean to help keep Reilly from turning into the Pillsbury Dough Dog. Also to chase squirrels, the most indecisive rodents on the planet and to avoid the human ritualistic torture known as a bath.

4. What is the best or worst piece of advice you’ve been given about running?

Best: Don't give Reilly too much of a head start.

Worst: You'll like the Vet's office!

5. Tell us something surprising about yourself that not many people would know.

I speak Latin: Mordere Ergo Sum - I bite therefore I am.

(I bet The Tim didn't know that!)

Fellow Tag Wearers:

Mariposa in Maryland

Murphy in Colorado

Guinness in Florida

What's This?

2008-06-07T08:10:00.005-04:00

Costa Rican Cousin

2008-06-07T08:06:00.003-04:00

Snackie-looking Stuff in Costa Rica

2008-06-07T07:40:00.016-04:00

Arriving In Atlanta Today

2008-06-03T11:47:00.005-04:00

BA arrives in the States today via Atlanta. We all look forward to seeing her and hearing all about Costa Rica on Friday when she drives to Roanoke for the weekend.

Everyone except me....I have to go to stupid camp. Mollie is coming here!

Stupid Mollie!

Random Emails With Beth Anne (UGA Campus/Costa Rica)

2008-06-02T20:24:00.004-04:00

May 28
Jessica was here for dinner and we tried to call before your lecture....the phone was busy and we tried again before she left...about 10:40 (our time) but you had already gone to the cabina. I talked to Jordan who said it would take 10-15 min. just to walk to the cabina to get you!!!! That’s a long walk from the Student Union. I told him that Jess and I would email you and set up another time to call. Jessica has the number, so she may try on her own.
Miss you!!!!!!!!
Love, Mom

May 29
Hey Mom,
Jordan came back and told me you had called and I was pretty disappointed. Our electricity went out last night & is still out ... it pretty much rained all day yesterday, all night & it’s pouring right now. Luckily the electricity is only out in the cabinas…I think. We are eating breakfast soon and then heading out to that other lodge for the night ... it's going to be WET, WET, WET! & we are all going to be so grungy by morning. We went on a tour of a coffee plant yesterday ... they also made sugar there - I got to gnaw on sugar cane ... pretty interesting. I got you something really cute there for one of our Christmas trees -- it's handmade too :) Our waterfall hike got canceled though because it was too dangerous with all the rain ...
Well, I miss you and yeah, we should set up another time to call. Maybe Saturday or Sunday sometime. We are trying to finish our group projects in our free time.
Love you & miss you lots.

May 30
So, San Gerardo was a little crazy ... the hike was hard. It took an hour and half to hike to it -- & lemme tell you it was all downhill & in the pouring rain. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how we would have to hike UP it the next day. The lodge was really rustic and the view from our rooms and porch was the Arenal volcano which was so awesome to see again! However, the people who run the place turn all the lights off at nine and last night the guy said he would probably keep it on later, but I guess he changed his mind because he gave us a 5 minute warning & just like that, everything went out. We sat by candlelight from that point on ... watched moths burn to death. I don't know why they like light so much -- never have researched that actually -- do you know?
We got back today late afternoon. I finally tracked down a phone card so I could talk to Dad and wish him a happy birthday. Luckily, I got a hold of him after a couple tries -- forgot he was going to the Bahamas. He answered his cell phone ... bet he's racking up nice phone bill down there -- you know he's using it all the time of course. I wanted to call you, but the phone card only had seven minutes on it ... the guy who gave it to me said he thought he had 15 minutes or so, but apparently not. Oh well. I don't feel so bad using it now.
Anyways, I think you should try to get on gmail 10 PM your time. I'll try my best to get on the computer then, but it's a happening place & you know it takes people forever to do anything on these computers.
Well, love you and can't wait to talk to you on the phone & catch up. I'll see you in a week! :)

May 30
Darn.I was hoping you might be around ... called you tonight. Left a voicemail on your cell then called Grandma's & talked to John and her.
Hopefully I will hear from you tomorrow.
Love you.

May 31
Sorry, I missed your call. Tim and I were at Greenhill Park for Relay for Life Walk and I left my cell in the car. Got your v.m. and then we went to Grandma's. John said you called there. I know Mom was thrilled to hear from you.
We are going to be at Pam's tomorrow night for another Morgan farewell dinner. I will try to call you again tomorrow. I haven't looked at your schedule to see what you are doing on Sat. but try to pick a time that I can call.
Love you and miss you, Mom

May 31
Okay, so I'm just sitting around working on some drawings for our brochure ... I've been on gmail for awhile hoping you'd somehow get on ... maybe you are at work. Anyways, I'll try back around 5 my time if the computer is available. Hopefully you will be around.

June 1
We went to Pam and Austin's at 6:30 PM (our time). That was when you were on the computer. Sorry. Remember the 2 hr. diff. We did not get home until 11.
I will pretty much be home all day today. I want to call you.....what if I call you around lunchtime...say 12:30. I noticed you have free time at 1:00.

June 1
We have our group projects due at 2:30 ... I will be around, but cannot guarantee that I can talk that long. If you get this anytime soon, call now.

(Success with the phone call)

June 2
Hey. Sorry I never got a chance to get on the computer yesterday ... presentations went well. It's really weird that today is my last day here. Bittersweet really. Anyway, I feel pretty bad right now. My back is hurting so much ... I think it's because of the s***** bed I slept on ... hard as a rock. I'm about to go see how I respond to breakfast ... I'm sure I'll be fine. Anyways, San Jose has good computers so I will email you later.

Love you lots.
Don't get too lonely with Tim gone!

June 2
Let me know when you get to San Jose. Can't believe you've already been gone 3 wks! Xoxo Mom

June 2
Hey,
In San Jose. Just got settled into the hotel. I will check in later. We are going downtown.

More News From Beth Anne-Day 12

2008-05-25T09:36:00.003-04:00

Sorry it has been awhile since you last heard from me. We were in a place called La Ensenada the past three nights. I'm now in Monteverde sitting downtown, killing time in some internet cafe. The weather here is much cooler which is a good thing … LESS BUGS = LESS BUG BITES! I'm covered in them. We are only here for one night and then heading to the UGA campus in San Luis tomorrow afternoon. We will be back in Monteverde next week for zip lining in the canopies! I can't wait for that!!

Anyways, La Ensenada ended up being the anti-climatic part of our trip. It was very isolated which was sometimes nice, but got old after awhile. My alarm clock was not needed, because instead I was awakened by howler monkeys at 5 AM every morning. It was pretty annoying, but hilarious at the same time to think that it was monkeys waking me up, not birds/dogs/other things you might hear in the States. There was this ridiculous blue jay that decided to join in this morning ... right outside our cabin doors. He is also the same bird, along with a couple others that would sit and watch as we ate breakfast and lunch everyday waiting to see what sort of food they could steal. I heard today that one morning, one of the jays dived for some butter on the table -- yuck! I normally threw some of my toast, but today I was irritated at them for adding to the ruckus. They are huge blue jays too!

We touched a howler yesterday ... it was a young female, probably no older than 8 months or so ... she was swinging around in the trees reaching out to us. Not too much touching though, don't worry …and NO, I didn't smile at her and show my teeth. Ha! (For those of you who don't know, monkeys can find that threatening). We said goodbye to her this morning ... she was biting chunks of mango and then spitting them out.

Most of our time in the past three days was spent doing some hikes around the area and then several boat tours. Nothing too new to see, but we did finally see a bunch of crocodiles. As I implied earlier, bugs were a big issue there. The first cabin that Erin and I were assigned to was infested with these nasty ant-like bugs that fly ... there were hundreds buzzing around in the bathroom window. At night we kept as few lights on as possible. It rained the past two nights… A LOT. Rainy season here is really beginning to start. Not a bad thing though. Cools down everything and provides a nice break from the bugs.

I realized earlier that I eat these three things it least once/twice a day here:

1. eggs
2. tomatoes
3. rice and beans

You know, I worried about the food, but we eat great here! Who knows I may have even gained weight, but let's hope all the hiking and other running around works it off. I'm not a big Costa Rica dessert fan though. Flan just isn't my thing ... tres leches is good though.

Well, I miss you all, but can't believe I only have 9 days left! This trip has been amazing.

You will most likely hear from me within the next couple of days.

Update From Beth Anne

2008-05-20T11:11:00.006-04:00

Beth Anne called last night (finally...after days of no internet access) from this resort http://www.paloverderesort.com/ .

The human who owns it is from Tallahassee, FL and let the group make free calls to the States. My Mistress was so elated to hear from her. She is suffering from separation withdrawal. Even though Beth Anne lives in GA, she still calls her mother daily and for the Mistress not to hear her voice for a week is unsettling.

She hasn't gotten stung by scorpions, bitten by snakes or monkeys, sunburned, or sick. She said the food is pretty good and she is eating a lot of tomatoes ... but said nothing of how the birds taste. (Of course, that's what I'm interested in ... squab, fowl, dark meat, white meat.)

Beth Anne has seen every animal and bird imaginable in Costa Rica and has taken hundreds of pictures. Today, they are hiking at the waterfall and volcano.

Tomorrow they leave Arenal for Ensenada and will be there through the 24th. The hotel/lodge probably does not have internet access so the Mistress will have no communication again. (She may have to borrow my Chinese herbs.)

During their stay in Ensenada the group will go on a boat tour of Isla de Pajaros (Bird Island). Sounds like a smorgasbord to me!

An Independent Film

2008-05-18T18:07:00.007-04:00

A Note From Beth Anne-Day 3

2008-05-16T11:00:00.004-04:00

So, today was one of the best days of my life.

First off, we are still at the La Selva Biological Station and actually we are isolated, but not without internet like we were told to expect. I have waited to send updates though so I could send a better email.

Yesterday, when we first arrived we ate lunch and then walked around a bit, had an orientation type of thing. Had some free time afterwards before dinner so we walked along a trail with our guide (one who will stay with us through most of the trip) ... we were not joined by actual guides who work here until today. Anyways, the trail was paved and we saw some birds, but nothing too exciting. Basically La Selva has a feel like 4-H Camp only in the jungle. We have been staying in a lodge with rooms that hold up to 6 people each - 3 sets of bunk beds. No one knows what humidity is until they have been here.

The rooms are hotter than outside sometimes ... you may shower, but you only feel clean for so long. All we do is sweat. However, they save all the air conditioning for the computer room and I am actually beginning to get chilly after being out in the heat all day. Anyways, after dinner last night we went on a night hike. Basically saw bugs and big frogs. Looked for crocodiles and owls, but were unsuccessful.

Today is where the real fun began ... We were up and outside by 5:45 AM for a morning bird hike/watch. It was okay at first, but by 7:00 we were all pretty hungry and kept seeing the same birds. We did not eat until 8 and then had down time pretty much until 1:30ish. Got some good hanging out and reading time in. We split up into two groups for the afternoon hike and my group ended up going on a 2 hour hike all over the forest. Saw poison dart frogs, a really awesome stick bug, the craziest looking spider, pecarries (think pig), more birds including but not limited to red lored amazon parrots, white crowned amazon parrots, parrokeets, keel billed toucans, chestnut mandibled toucans, orioles, woodpeckers, etc. Also, saw a cool snake and some bats!

But, here is the greatest part -- MONKEYS! Capuchin monkeys and then howler monkeys!! I kid you not I stood 5 feet away from a howler monkey at one point. One was on this bridge that we have to walk back on to get to the lodge ... he walked along with us! It was absolutely amazing. I cannot wait to show you all pictures (if you are interested)!

Well, enough excited rambling. I am in complete awe and so satisfied with my day. I better go though. Dinner is at 6 and I need to start walking towards the dining hall before it gets too dark! By the way, we leave tomorrow at 6:30 AM for Tortuguero. This is apparently where we are supposed to be headed to www.grupomawamba.com/mawambalodge/index.html which believe me, looks a lot different from here!

Love to you all!

Home Again

2008-05-14T22:37:00.005-04:00

After what has seemed like an eternity, my Mistress finally drags into camp today at 3 pm to retrieve me.

She was scheduled to pick me up Tuesday evening, but apparently spent more time than planned debating the amount of hair products Beth Anne would need in a rainforest and driving around the state of Georgia longer that anticipated.

The purpose of this trip was to assist in packing the much needed hair products and escorting Beth Anne to the Atlanta airport for her flight to some kennel called Costa Rica where she will be studying birds of all things.

Maybe she will bring me a souvenir ... a tasty one with feathers.

I can excuse the fact she did not pick me up on Tuesday evening as planned as she was on the road trying her best to get home. She was exhausted and I did feel rather sorry for her. However, today was another matter altogether.

She delayed picking me up this morning to attend to some customers (blah, blah, blah) and then ... have lunch with the Tim at his work place. I ask you, who is more important anyway? Do you think I got any of that Chicken Panini or pasta salad? Nope! Instead my reward was a bath and a nail trim!

Now I smell like an annoypid poodle.

Mom

2008-05-08T20:10:00.005-04:00

Our Mistress is off to that Georgia place again.

We can't let her go without recognizing her on her special day.

For keeping us well fed ...

For letting us have treats from the table ...

For taking care of us when we don't feel well ...

For loving us more than anyone else ...

Happy Mother's Day

Uh-Oh

2008-05-04T20:23:00.004-04:00

Reilly is going to be in big trouble. He ate the Tim's tiramisu. I had nothing to do with it.

The Mistress was in the process of packing lunches and placed the last piece of tiramisu into a container for the Tim's lunch.

Two mistakes: 1)Leaving the top off the container. 2) Leaving the container on the counter while she disposed of the original box in the big, blue trash bin outside.

All I can say is that he ate it in one gulp and didn't even have the consideration to share!

Reilly has lately begun helping himself to the human's food, if by chance a back is turned for even a split second. Much to their repugnance, he has even been brazen enough to stick his big, fat, Retriever nose on the counter in plain sight of the Mistress and the Tim. I would never be caught in such a revolting act!

He also steals food thrown into the trash.

Recent conversation I overheard between the Tim and the Mistress:

The Mistress: "Tim, don't put those chicken bones into that trash can...Reilly will stick his fat head in there."

The Tim: "No he won't, because if he does, I'm going to stick a hammer in it."

The Mistress: "Oh...when did you decide you wanted to share a room with Michael Vick?"

This type of behavior used to seem out of character for Reilly, ever obedient that he was. Now it seems ill manners fit his character quite well. I have no ill manners to speak of.

The Tim is at a smelly cigar function, but when he gets home......I'm glad I'm not Reilly. The dumb blonde.

Hmm........ Michael Vick might get a new bitch.

(disclaimer: The Tim has never nor would ever stick a hammer into Reilly's head. He just says it occasionally.)

Too Bad

2008-05-03T12:49:00.010-04:00

Over a year ago, my Mistress started a project. Painting cabinets and walls, as well as re-papering the other walls in the downstairs kitchen. She somehow got distracted with other things such as performing a lobotomy on Mr. Hyde (a.k.a. the Tim). Performing the lobotomy was not unlike extracting a person's cranium from their nether region. At any rate, the project went on hold, which is somewhat typical for her. And they say I am ADHD. Geesh!

The Mistress has returned to this project and the entire surface of the pool table covered with the remaining cabinet doors. They are primed and ready to be painted, which might actually occur before she's off to Georgia again. We will see. The Tim is dubiously hopeful.

As a result of the pool table's current usage as a work table, The Larkview Center for Wellness and Pool Therapy is closed for an indefinite time period. The Tim will have to deal with it and find other means for an excuse to drink beer and smoke cigars with his buddy, Don. When these two get together, I am stuffed into my crate or shut outside.

Since, I don't care for either, I hope my Mistress takes her time. What's another year (or seven in my case) anyway?

Foiled Again

2008-04-26T08:07:00.005-04:00

Once again, I thought I had succeeded in persuading The Mistress in allowing me to accompany her on a trip. Destination: My condo in Athens.

Crate and food packed in the car. Check.
Leash and (ugh) muzzle. Check.

All manner of preparations were completed and then we started down the road in the direction of...........yes, that's right! %@!&#* CAMP!

My R & R foiled again. To be dumped at Camp. A travesty! All the while, that lazy Tim, lolling about the house with the lazy Retrievers. Disgusting. Why can't I stay at home? Why can't I go with The Mistress?

To answer the first question, as it has been explained to others, apparently I am not to be trusted with the local relatives of the humans living in my household. It is their job to come into the house while the Tim is at some place called Work and let the older dogs out to pee. Incontinence is a problem with Creepy and sometimes Mocha since she obtained senior status quite some time ago.

The second answer has to do with that stupid Mollie, who is still squatting in my condo. To make matters worse, I have since found out she is literally eating the condo. A piece of furniture here, a rug there. Where will it end? I may be a bad ass, but I'm not a dumbass! If Mollie isn't on a manic devouring spree, then there is the bird pooping all over the place or a mass of college students spilling liquids on my sofa and carpets!

The Mistress will return to Athens in 2 weeks to help Beth Anne prepare for Maymester in Costa Rica. She is attending an Avian Biology course there and all I can say is that it must has something to do with gourmet foods!

I guess my fate is sealed and it's off to Camp again. Sigh.

In Memory

2008-04-16T22:10:00.001-04:00

Hobnobbing

2008-04-13T11:54:00.002-04:00

What topics does one discuss with an internationally famous opera singer and her conductor husband? Better yet...what does one feed them? Especially when they are used to travelling the world and dining in some of the best restaurants in existence?

These are the questions my Mistress fretted about on Saturday as she prepared appetizers for the evening's casual get together with new acquaintances.

Our kitchen resembled the set of Hell's Kitchen and my Mistress morphed into something akin to a female version of Gordon Ramsey. So much so, we dogs kept our distance and rumor had it, the Tim was quite apprehensive about returning home from work.

Pots, pans, sharp instruments and a variety of ingredients were strewn about on every counter as she flew helter skelter about the kitchen, all the while condemning the entire Kroger Corporation for their suspect quality and lack of adequate variety. It was such a frightening sight, I found myself wanting to go outside!

Eventually, much to everyone's relief (canine and human alike), my Mistress went upstairs to get herself ready. As time slipped away, the Tim paced about the kitchen continually glancing at the clock but daring not to utter a word about the importance of promptness until finally she returned bearing a dissatisfied scowl. It seems her hair wasn't cooperating. (Not a problem I ever have to contend with.)

But finally after much ado, they left the house with two platters of hors d'oeuvres in hand. Which I might add, I did not get to sample.

Late into the night they returned home and it was obvious all had gone well. They had a wonderful time with a modest, unassuming couple, who certainly do not live an unassuming existence. I'm quite sure their discussions covered a variety of topics, the most of which likely were about me. After all, what could be more interesting?

The Mistress was also quite happy she didn't trip and fall over one of the two lard-assed Golden Retrievers that lay about Pam and Austin's kitchen floor. They have a knack for placing themselves directly behind an unsuspecting individual and judging from the Tim's distinct lack of equilibrium, it wouldn't have taken much to send him flying.

The following morning myself and the other canines formed our own opinions regarding the aforementioned Kroger Corporation when we were rewarded with leftover smoked salmon and prosciutto.

And unlike my Mistress, I found them to be more than adequate.

What the Duck?

2008-04-09T09:18:00.002-04:00

Need I say more?

Random

2008-04-08T15:54:00.004-04:00

Ok, this is a piglet being nursed by a Weiner dog. My Mistress thinks it's cute, but I think it is just plain weird. Some things are obviously food to me, like bacon.

Puppy Love

2008-04-03T14:16:00.008-04:00

I know that I am guilty of making fun of humans....humans making fools of themselves and each other, stupid human tricks, human habits, human....well, you get it.

Sometimes humans do really good things. Sometimes those good things involve benefits to the animal world. Especially for dogs and cats.....well dogs, definitely. I'm not big on cats.

The Mistress and the Tim are attending the Puppy Love Ball on Saturday, April 5th. This event is a hugely popular fundraiser to raise funds for animals and also the awareness of the needs of animals.

My Mistress has always loved animals and caring for them (I wish I were the only one) and this will be a meaningful evening for her. I've heard her say on many occasions that she would prefer to spend her time around animals rather than people. Who could blame her? Certainly not I, although I'm not much on tolerating other animals or people outside my own household pack. The birds don't count as part of the pack. I just consider them to be food.

Human's Day

2008-04-01T09:25:00.002-04:00

Today is April Fool's Day. Humans equal fools. Nuff said.

The Tim Is Home Again

2008-03-06T12:37:00.011-05:00

Yesterday, the Mistress left in the morning, but did not stay gone long. When she returned, she brought the Tim home with her. He was sporting his new collar, but it wasn't quite what I thought it was going to be. Frankly, I was expecting one of those ginormous Elizabethan collars that looks like a satellite dish. I guess it's because his muzzle isn't as long as the rest of us dogs. Still, he did resemble that creepy monster, Frankenstein.

Although we are not being ignored, the Tim is getting far more attention than Mocha, Reilly or myself. The Mistress, who always seems to be in care-taking mode has been fussing over the big baby since they walked in the door. She hasn't left his side, except once when she took me with her to the grocery store. I don't think she trusted me to stay out of trouble.

This morning she kicked Reilly and I outside and cooked a big breakfast for the Tim. The smell of bacon and eggs wafting from the stove vent was torturous! Mocha was allowed to stay in and probably got handouts. Not fair. Stupid humans.

Here I am relaxing with the invalid. I did miss him. Even though, I got to sleep beside the Mistress while he was gone, she said it was for protection and for the one night only. I know she let me because she felt sorry for me having to stay in the crate all day. Oh well....I like my crate.

Where is the Tim?

2008-03-04T19:03:00.003-05:00

They left the house at 4:40 am this morning. It was a bit odd going outside so early and then NOT getting breakfast. The Mistress came home later without the Tim. She said he was getting his new collar. At least she fed us and we went outside while she was here.

I had to go back in the crate and she left again. It was past dinnertime when she came back alone. To avoid us getting muddy, like earlier in the day, the Mistress decided to take us each out on the leash for a short walk.

We got our dinner, then I threw mine up. I guess this whole day has been making me anxious. Where is the Tim? At the vet? The groomer? The kennel?

The Mistress has gone again and I'm in my crate. I hope they come home soon!

No Bad Dogs Next Week

2008-02-28T17:39:00.010-05:00

We dogs have been getting an ear full about the Tim's upcoming surgery. We did verify he will be wearing the collar (this will make it difficult for him to lick himself). I thought the Mistress should have him neutered as well, since the rest of us are.

Most of the talk has been about what we will not be allowed to do. For instance: No fighting, biting, barking or jumping on the Tim. Also Reilly is not supposed to "sneak" up on the bed. Although I have no first hand knowledge of this (I sleep in the laundry room), I have heard the Tim complaining of Reilly stealthily climbing onto the bed and laying on the Tim's pillow when he's in the shower. Somehow the big oaf never awakens the Mistress.

Outside we are not supposed to get in the mud, eat or roll in poop.

Basically, we are not supposed to cause problems and have absolutely no fun for awhile. On the other hand, the Tim will not be allowed to do a lot of things as well - some of which he doesn't mind, like working!

Reilly's Stomach Issues

2008-02-23T17:59:00.006-05:00

Reilly has always puzzled the humans. He is not your average Golden Retriever. He can't catch, he gets car sick and he has a very sensitive digestive tract .... oh, and he talks. The humans seem to think he does anyhow and they apparently understand what he is trying to tell them.

We have been eating another brand of dog food for the last week. It tastes good and we like it. Although it is organic and the Mistress says the ingredients are the same as our regular food, Reilly is not tolerating it well. Let's just say the Mistress has come home to a few very foul and odiferous surprises!

The Tim is very sensitive to this sort of thing and was horrified by the very idea that Reilly would soil the house. He has a difficult time cleaning the yard and cannot handle the idea of cleaning up large piles created by a 90 lb. dog in the house. He also doesn't understand why Reilly eats crap on a regular basis and doesn't get sick, but change his food and ....... whoa, watch out!

Early this morning around 4:30, Reilly had another attack and awakened the Mistress to go out. I think she decided Reilly was not going to adapt to this food and went out this afternoon to purchase a bag of the regular stuff in time for our dinner.

Hopefully, for their sake, Reilly will be back on track in a couple of days.

Valentine Surprise

2008-02-15T10:59:00.004-05:00

What is all this commotion about Valentine's Day? I don't even know what it is. The Mistress spent a lot of time in the kitchen, cooking and doing what she calls, "setting a romantic table for two". I have on several occasions tried to sit at the table, but always get chased out of the chair.

The Mistress' intent was to surprise the Tim with an incredible feast, fine wine, and his favorite dessert, which of course, is Tiramisu. She cheated, due to time constraints and went to Fresh Market for the dessert.

It was she who got the surprise when the Tim arrived home an hour earlier than expected. When the meal was ready to serve, the Tim wanted to banish us dogs to another area. My Mistress promised we would be good and we complied in hopes of a bit of salmon or Prosciutto.

The whole evening was way too sappy and mushy for my tastes. Humans....geesh!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T08:26:00.006-05:00

The Tim has a pain in the neck.

2008-02-13T23:36:00.011-05:00

Today the Tim had a MRI (whatever that is ) and it is supposed to tell us whether he needs to have his neck fixed again. (For more details: http://decurroergosum.blogspot.com/ )
If that happens, he will have to wear a collar. I think he will look like this....

Poor sap....I mean chap!

Yummy Treats!

2008-02-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

The Mistress was making focaccia bread (heart-shaped...geesh!) for a RFWDG Valentine's soiree this evening.

Fortunately for us dogs, she forgot to put the yeast in one of the batches! Can you say "Dog Biscuits"? Cha-ching!

Water Torture

2008-02-03T23:12:00.001-05:00

The Mistress decided we stink.

By we, I of course mean Mocha, Reilly and myself.

And while I agree the other two have most certainly reached the point of risking arrest for odifferious offenses, I on the other hand, am as fresh and pleasant scented as a new born puppy.

My Mistress, however felt otherwise and so carted Reilly and myself upstairs to a place she calls the bathroom where she proceeded to heave us, one at a time, into a long rectangular box upon which was attached a hose like device from which water mysteriously sprayed.

Apparently, because of his size and the sheer density of hair, she tortured Reilly for an hour and a half. Me, not so long.

She had to wait for the Tim to return before attempting to subject Mocha to this hideously embarrassing ritual. Even though she is very docile, Mocha can be quite uncooperative when faced with something she dislikes - such as having her bear like toe nails trimmed.

As a result, the Mistress needed the Tim's help containing Mocha in the box which even though neither Reilly nor myself were allowed to witness, was I am sure an interesting sight. You see, the Tim has been functioning with one arm since his disc issues reappeared a couple of weeks ago.

He looks like a freak walking around with one arm hanging there like some menthol smelling, limp chew toy.

At any rate, we're all supposedly clean now - except for Creepy who is 150 years old in human years, blind as a bat, can barely hear and craps 24 / 7.

The Mistress is afraid the ensuing trauma of water torture might hasten her demise - and she's probably right.

The Tim suggested spraying her with Febreze - what ever that is.

They are leaving me again.

2008-01-19T09:55:00.001-05:00

The Tim and my Mistress are leaving for GA ... AGAIN.

And do I get to go! NO!

Stupid Molly, Mixon, and those birds! Why do they have to be in my condo? Back to the kennel they are taking me. Hmm...I do get a lot of treats there.

Picture: Beth and Beth Anne inside the stadium with statue of Uga.

What kind of self-respecting Bulldog would allow himself to be called Uga? It's probably why I've heard that he has a nasty little temper and has to take happy pills.

He should try the Chinese herbs.

Winter Wonderland

2008-01-17T11:36:00.000-05:00

What is this? This stuff is cold. Have I seen it before? Seems I have....dang, global warming!

Oops, she did it again!

2008-01-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

Oh hell, I give up! She got another one...."Smurf". A birthday present from that guy, Will. Well, I'm not amused.

An entry from my Mistress: Happy Birthday, Beth Anne!

2008-01-12T08:33:00.000-05:00

I remember the day that you, a precocious 3 pounder, prematurely entered the world. Exhibiting a strength and determination that continues to awe and inspire me. Eager to experience life and embrace all its opportunities and challenges. And full of love and compassion for all of God's creations. I have always been and continue to be very proud of you. Happy 20th Birthday, Beth Anne! I'm with you today, if not in body, in spirit.....I love you.

-Mom

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T15:02:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year from my mistress, The Tim, and Beth Anne!

And most importantly, of course.....from me, Zoe and all the rest of our brood!

Merry Christmas to The Tim

2007-12-26T14:11:00.000-05:00

The Mistress worked on a very special gift to commemorate The Tim's grand achievement in October when he completed the 32nd Annual Marine Corp Marathon in Washington, D.C.

We dogs assisted her by unsuccessfully staying out of the way!

Bad Santa

2007-12-25T13:33:00.000-05:00

All I wanted for Christmas was some treats.....and this bird!

(Got neither.)

Reilly almost got it during Thanksgiving, but it is still hanging around!

Also, the bird cages in the solarium are multiplying

at an alarming rate! Yikes!

It's A Wonderful Life

2007-12-15T09:44:00.000-05:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Framed!

2007-12-06T07:49:00.000-05:00

The framing studio is madness at the moment! Moulding and mats everywhere... not to mention Reilly impersonating a rug!

Inevitably this causes The Mistress to fuss at us for being in the way.

I prefer to cuddle up with a blanket in the TV room.

Thanksgiving Review

2007-12-06T07:17:00.000-05:00

They finally came and got me from "camp/jail" on the Sunday AFTER Thanksgiving. I thought I was coming home on Friday, but NOOOOOO! Seems there was much excitement which occurred during the week and somehow, somebody made the executive decision to leave me there during all the commotion. I forgave The Mistress because she saved me some turkey and gravy. Yum!

The "fleabag" got sick one day, then the next day, Reilly tried to take out one of the birds. Yea for Reilly.....he really does have a brain! Both survived, much to my chagrin. (It would have been a different story had I been there.) And of course, what's a holiday without a tour of the emergency room?

Other news...

Georgia (Go Dawgs!) and VT (Go Hokies!) both won their games that weekend!

The Mistress is trying to gear up for the up and coming week of "The Christmas Decorating Extravaganza". One of those Wine-Dinner events is going to be in my house a week from Saturday and The Mistress is getting all Martha Stewart-ish. The Tim will be on vacation next week......little does he know what she has in store for him!

Supposedly in the spirit of Christmas (I call it "in the spirit of making people look stupid") The Mistress has produced this little number:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1191167871

Thank Lassie she didn't put me in there!

Up For Adoption

2007-11-20T09:05:00.001-05:00

One Fleabag! I mean, one Jack-A-Bee.

Approximately 12 weeks old.

Crate and worms included at no extra charge!

Just get it old of my condo!

Interested parties should contact me via this site ASAP!

Happy Thanksgiving?

2007-11-20T08:18:00.001-05:00

Rumor has it that I am going to the kennel this afternoon! That Fleabag (see picture) is coming to my house with Beth Anne today, along with the stupid bird! They think I won't get along with the fleabag (which I won't).

While I think it was commendable for Beth Anne to rescue the wretched mongrel off the streets of Athens and take her to the vet (which I heard she is full of nasty things....worms and such), I see no good reason to bring her here? Has she lost her mind?

She is her mother's daughter after all....always rescuing animals. The four-legged, as well as the two-legged variety. The Tim (two-legged) has been busy making predictions as to the possible outcome of this visit.

I was to go to the kennel on Wednesday anyway, because John and Keith are staying here for the huge Thanksgiving Gut Slam. The Mistress thought my not being here would eliminate some stress, but what about my stress? Who wants to spend Thanksgiving (whatever that is) in the kennel and go a day earlier than planned?

The Mistress calls it "camp" and the Tim calls it "jail".

Sure, Angela is nice enough and I like her. I even get to take my crate with my smelly old Tim blanket but it's not the same as being at home........Maybe the Mistress will feel guilty enough to make me a "stash bag" of turkey (like Uncle Austin, who has tasty fingers) to enjoy when I come home on Saturday!

No, No, Not Another One!

2007-11-13T12:55:00.000-05:00

I overheard my Mistress talking with Beth Anne about a Beagle of all things! It appears she found this puppy that had been dumped by some cruel and irresponsible humans. Stupid humans.

Beth Anne is calling this dog "Molly" and thinks she is keeping her! What is she thinking!? I'm her dog!

The Tim is convinced The Mistress will end up with this animal, as she has with all the rest. Not to worry! I'll take care of it. I am the boss dog of the house and I'm laying down the law now.

There will be no more dogs in this house.

One more thing...I heard them talking about trading MY crate for this other dog's crate because it is too big! Too bad! I don't want some other dog's stinking crate. I have mine just the way I want it, with a chewed up cushion and the Tim's fleece blanket. "Molly" has already stunk up my condo in Athens. (Proof: see picture confiscated off Facebook) How can I return there now? It smells of Beagle! I am not happy about this at all. The Chinese herbs are not working!

Backgammon Blues

2007-11-06T09:58:00.000-05:00

The Mistress kicked The Tim's butt three nights ago in a formidable display of strategy and skill only to succumb to his shameful tactics of taking advantage of her lower back pain and lack of concentration the last two nights.

Although, he claims that his wins are a result of "skillful dice rolling", we know that I'd be rolling in that BS if I could (I like rolling in smelly stuff).

Don't let the picture fool you. I am not a Turn Coat. I am my Mistress' dog. As I stated before, she was suffering from lower back pain and her lap was not an option. I had to resort to the next best thing. It also boosts his self-esteem.

Random Monday

2007-11-05T15:26:00.000-05:00

The Mistress is lamenting the fact that it is once again Monday. I am seen here assisting her with bill paying, balancing the checkbooks, making the household budget, and other stuff she doesn't enjoy much.

Yesterday was the only day that she and The Tim have been able to spend together since returning from their trip to D.C.

Although, they enjoyed their time going to church (I got to stay in the crate), having a rare dinner together (no leftovers for me), and playing backgammon (while we dogs just layed about), the day passed too quickly.

Tim also worked in the yard and fiddled with all the clocks in the house. That may explain why we dogs have been signaling The Mistress at 4 p.m. that it is time to eat.

She said The Tim did good!

2007-10-30T15:52:00.000-04:00

I went to the kennel again (this is getting very annoying), while The Tim and my Mistress went to Washington D.C. I have not been to D.C. since being banished from John and Keith's house for peeing on the floor. They have no sense of humor.

My mistress said that The Tim ran a marathon, which is a long, long distance. I bet I can run faster and further, if I had opposable thumbs and could open the gate.

They came to get me on Monday and didn't even bring me a treat....just some kind of medal, which wasn't edible. Stupid humans.

Just dumb........

2007-10-17T00:13:00.001-04:00

Beth Anne came in from that place called Georgia on the 5th and she brought another worthless bird with her.

She calls it Peaches.

Look at Mocha. What a dummy! Does she not know she has a tasty treat riding around on her back?

I wish they would have let me in the house.

I had to watch this atrocity through the window, while free food roamed the house and rode on the back of the biggest dummy (besides the Tim) in the pack.

The Evidence

2007-10-01T12:01:00.000-04:00

The Tim is training for a marathon. He runs all the time and therefore he eats all the time. The Mom is always cooking, which is good for us canines. We get the scraps and the benefit of whatever hits the floor.

There were some overly ripe bananas and usually we get to eat them, but she decided to make Tim banana bread. She said it was her best ever.

This is what was left of it..........I'm not saying who took it off the counter. I'm not even going to say if it was good or not. She thinks it was Reilly.

Everything is blah.........

2007-09-06T12:18:00.000-04:00

Beth Anne went to school August 9th.

The Mom didn't even take me to Georgia with her.

It had something to do with renting a room in the condo to Beth Anne's friend and me biting her.

Would I do that?

I had to go the the kennel. Yuck!

Everybody misses Beth Anne. Mocha misses her. Reilly misses her. I miss her. I think that even Sugar misses her, in her own little demented way.

The Mom and Tim especially miss her. The house just isn't the same. There are no banging doors and running up and down the stairs. The phones don't ring as much.

She is fun and bubbly and sneaks us food under the table (when the Tim isn't looking).

I heard a rumor that she won't come back home until Thanksgiving, whenever that is.

Whenever it is, I'm sure it's too long!

The Mom and Tim are always busy with stuff or are always leaving the house for hours on end. I'm told to get in my crate, which sometimes earns me a cookie.

They are pretty boring in my opinion. At night they play backgammon and try to ignore me even though I'm being as obnoxious as I can be.

Group hug! Play with me! Treat!

I'm talking, but they are not listening.

Stupid humans.

Ready for Action

2007-07-19T17:33:00.000-04:00

Feeling better ...........haven't puked once today.

I'm ready for a little action and fun.

I know they're in there!

Just gotta find a way in or hope one of the stupid humans leaves the door open.

It's been rumored that they are leaving as soon as that guy Will's family gets home from vacation.

The Mistress has had her fill of them, but not me ... I haven't even had a taste yet!

An Off Day

2007-07-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

Today is a blah day. I'm not up to speed, which is unusual. It's been raining and I'm content to lay around. The Mistress is painting. I think I have a stomach bug or I've eaten something that might have been a bit more ripened than needed. All I can say is that I feel a little sorry for The Tim when he scoops the yard next time!

The rats are back and have been here for sometime. That Will guy went to Europe for an extended time to do something called "traveling". I still haven't located them, although I smell something familiar in the basement bathroom. Sometimes I hear a scurrying noise. If I could only open the door....................

If he can do it, so can I.......

2007-06-28T14:49:00.000-04:00

The Tim recently posted 10 so called "interesting" things about himself. Not! How 'bout boring and FREAKISH!

Scotch Tape - give me a break - stupid human.

Here are 10 things (about me) - which are interesting:

1) Dog poo (especially Mocha's) makes for a good snack.

2) I can jump six feet straight up in the air about a thousand times a day.

3) I am the official dish pre-washer of the house (see pic).

4) I pee when I get scared.

5) I am scared of air horns and dynamite blasts - see #4 (I just found this out).

6) I like the smell of foam rubber and enjoy chewing it into small pieces.

7) I lick myself compulsively ... and take pleasure in doing so.

8) I go get Mocha for the humans - she's deaf. (I've mentioned this before but its so darn impressive, it bears repeating.)

9) I have a condo in Athens, Georgia.

10) I find muzzles to be both degrading and embarrassing.

Naaaa ....What's Up Doc?

2007-06-24T10:57:00.000-04:00

First rats and now this ... you're killin' me here!

Rat Sitting

2007-06-13T17:10:00.000-04:00

It has been one week since I’ve bitten someone (other dogs included).

And until a few days ago, I was handling it fairly well. But then the Will guy un-expectantly brought his rats over to my house. The humans kept calling them “chinchilla’s” but I’m no fool. They’re rats I tell ya!

Well at first I thought, “This is great! I’ll chase the filthy rodents around a bit, toss ‘em up in the air a few times and then following the laws of nature, create a scene reminiscent of something the male human (Tim I think they call him) refers to as Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”

But N O O O O O O !

As it turns out, they weren’t there for my amusement at all. It seems we were “rat sitting.” Can you believe it? As I said before – dumb humans.

Anyway, they put them downstairs in the basement and would not open the darn door. Even though they know all too well that I am neither tall enough to reach the knob nor do I have thumbs, opposable or otherwise.

As you might imagine, the vermin stench wafting up the stairwell, taunted me to no end. It was unbearable. At night, I’d lie in my crate and dream of creeping down the steps, sneaking over to the cage and then without warning, start barking like crazy scaring, the decon right out of ‘em!

Then in my dream, I would knock against the table, sending the cage tumbling to the floor. In the ensuing crash, the cage door would pop open and it would suddenly be “rat-o-mania!” But alas, it was only a dream and each morning I would awaken to find the downstairs door firmly closed.

Then, just as suddenly as they arrived, they were gone.

Such cruel treatment is uncalled for and is on par with other despicable human behaviors such as the “fake throw,” the “pretend treat” and the “let’s go for a nice ride in the car – to the vet’s office!”

Is it any wonder I sometimes bite?

Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight and they’ll bring a stranger home. Then I can play the old “I was only defending you,” routine after taking a well deserved chunk out of their calf.

Dumb humans. They’ll believe anything.

Time Out

2007-06-07T19:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spent the whole day in jail or outside, away from the pack.

I acted like an *hole.

I bit Mocha on the nose and drew blood.

I don't know why I did it. Sometimes I get jealous. I want to be the only dog.

The Mom put me in the crate and then later outside. She was pretty mad. Later on, she and the Tim came outside and she let me sit with her. When Mocha came outside, I tried to bite her again and got put off the deck.

Today I'm trying very hard not to get in trouble. Mocha isn't a bad sort. I actually like her but, she is inferior to me since she is deaf as a doornail and way too submissive.

I get extra points with the humans when I "go get Mocha" for them when they can't get her attention.

The Beginning

2007-06-05T04:58:00.000-04:00

January 15, 2005. Me at 16 weeks old. Left hell via Washington, D.C.

We (The Mom, BA, and a guy named Will) stayed at Uncle John and Uncle Keith's house, where I promptly defecated and peed on their newly refinished hardwoods, sending Keith into a frenetic cleaning jag.

We arrived in Roanoke a couple of days later. They did not know I was a Hellerhound. Nobody told them. Dumb humans.

I've come to love the three I live with and with some unwillingness, I accepted The Mom as Pack Leader. No others are allowed in the pack, if I have anything to say about it and that includes that Will guy.

Luckily, there are no cats.